| Archive for Uncle AJ's Rolex, Wrist Watch & Nature Forum A place to chill out and have some fun a forum about nothing yet also about everything. An alternative wrist watch and nature forum. |
| Jimbits76 |
Woohoo!All this technical, serious stuff in Lisa's post has left me a bit light headed.I need to get back on track with a typical Jimbo Bobimbo Idiot Post. What better way to celebrate my idiocy, my foolish, feeble pea brain and my complete lack of common sense than by blowing something up? Since you people in far away lands and backwater countries with no history probably don't know, on November 5th we the stoic, fantastic, God fearing and Queen loving British people like to blow things up with pointless explosives. To be honest I may as well set fire to a couple o fifty quid notes but it wouldn't be pretty, not nearly as loud and is very possibly considered treason. Since I don't want to spend Christmas locked in the Tower of London (although it would be apt), I will be spending my hard earned blood money on a couple of boxes of fireworks. Time for the history bit. Back in 1605, a man who looked like Hugo Weaving in V for Vendetta and his friends tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament. This was long ago, before Mel Gibson and his son's saved the USA from the evil British types. Anyway. There was this Scottish bloke sat on the throne of England. His name was King See yoo Jimmeh. Don't know how that happened exactly but it could have been worse, we could have had one of those Oranj, Dutch guys as King!!!! Anyhoo, a bunch of dirty, brown toothed English people were fed up with the Royalty and their deep fried Mars bars and their bloated boiled sheep intestine dinners and decided that they "was 'aving no more of this me lavs!" The scheming English got together and decided to blow up the Houses Of Parliament. They put together a plot that would involve gunpowder. It would become famous and known worldwide as Operation King Jimmycide! Anyway as the schemers and plotters said to the Hugo Weaving lookey likey; "Go dahn the old apples under the Mickey Mouse and make sure old Jimbo get's proper Daffy Ducked. Get out in a Harry Dash without getting in a two and eight, bob's yer uncle and fanny's yer aunt, we'll put the stinging nettle on and have a cup of Rosie and watch the firework show." Now things didn't go to plan and the plot with the gunpowder or Operation King Jimmycide was foiled. The bloke who looked like Hugo Weaving was caught and tortured, even put onto a toast rack. He was then to be hung, drawn and quartered, just in case he wasn't dead enough. Instead old "Hugo" jumped off a wall and broke his neck although he has been spotted down Asda and has also been rumoured to live on an Island with James Dean and Elvis. I personally think the CIA did it! What has this all got to do with anything? What am I talking about? Yes I remember, Lemon Meringue Pie! So while the pastry bakes, prepare the filling: mix the cornflour, sugar and lemon zest in a medium saucepan. Strain and stir in the lemon juice gradually. Make orange juice up to 200ml/7fl oz with water and strain into the pan. Cook over a medium heat, stirring constantly, until thickened and smooth. Once the mixture bubbles, remove from the heat and beat in the butter until melted. Beat the egg yolks (save white for meringue) and whole egg together, stir into the pan and return to a medium heat. Keep stirring vigorously for a few minutes, until the mixture thickens and plops from the spoon. (It will bubble, but doesn't curdle.) Take off the heat and set aside while you make the meringue. Hang on, I was talking about November 5th. I remember now as if I was there in 1605 which I was, in my first life as a woodlouse...mmmmmm wood! Anyway, every year a bunch of hooded young offenders and hooligans celebrate the death of "hugo" by making a dummy of him and burning him on a bonfire whilst dancing around like chanting pagan loonbags! This year is the first year that I have been given licence by Claire to buy some boxes of money burners. I am considering a sweep stake on how injured I will get. More news to follow... J |
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| jdc |
Very entertaining littlebanger'76. Main reason they wanted to send James I to kingdom come was because of the Kings and parliaments persecution of the catholic minority. Its all about religion you know 
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| Jimbits76 |
What...I got my info of Fireworkipedia!!!!!!
I'll have you know I'm an expert! J |
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| jdc |
I hope you fireworks work better
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| Jimbits76 |
Pah what do you know. You type some drivel...as if any world events or significant bloodshed occur from differences in faith! J |
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| uncle aj |
I can't wait as Brenda bakes some Parkin cake and it's delicious. 
Bring on the sparklers. 
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| Jimbits76 |
I will light an honourary Sparkler for you AJ....if I have any fingers left!
J |
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| uncle aj |
We have a few here, the Saudis used to sell fireworks to celebrate the end of Ramadan. It was made illegal but you still see people selling them outside of Supermarkets etc. Brenda will be going into the back garden and twirling a couple. I shall stay indoors and wonder. 
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| Carolina |
Hmmpf. Now I know the true reason we left. 
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| Lion |
Jim, love fireworks remind me to tell you a funny story about what happened to me one year after the fourth of July..... | ||||||||
| Jimbits76 |
Come off it, I know you'd love to see my Roman Candle explode! J |
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| Carolina |
*cough* *sputter* what??! 
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| uncle aj |
I've heard it's a damp squid.
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| Jimbits76 |
Caroline I'm exaggerating (sp?)
You know full well that I am a little banger with a tiny fuse! J |
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| BigBird |
Look ole' ShortFuse76, we know it is more of a pop than a bang. 
Drats, my computer locked up and I was beaten to the punch. |
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| Carolina |
Those are the ones you have to watch out for! 
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| Jimbits76 |
Bah...I can't even get in a post about my teensy fuse before you pair of gits start knocking me!
J |
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| Carolina |
That just ruined my yen for seafood right then and there. 
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| Jimbits76 |
Unfortunately, once I've been handled and positioned properly, It's a case of a quick fizz, an almost unnoticed bang and then a pop. What a let down for anybody expecting the earth to move by a proffessional display! J |
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| BigBird |
Turn the thing over, you are lighting the wrong end. 
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| Lion |
Jim, I used to make my own firecrackers when I was a kid because my parents wouldn't let us have the real ones. They were a lot of work to make but it was fun!!! | ||||||||
| BigBird |
Homemade firecrackers? Is that like a bean burrito?
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| Jimbits76 |
It is in your can chilliboy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J |
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| Lion |
Depends on your definition!!! |
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| BigBird |
Hey, leave my cream corn out of your thread.
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| Lisa |
Jim, I started to thank you for the colorful history lesson, but I can see things have traveled far away from that at this point! 
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| Jimbits76 |
That history happened...I was there!
Well maybe not me but somebody I knew. Okay, I made the whole thing up. But that's not the point...errrmmmm I don't know what the point is! J |
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| jdc |
looking forward to your next history lesson on the Roman invasion and how Julius saw conquered and came
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| daveathall |
Guy was a Yorkshireman so
"Go dahn the old apples under the Mickey Mouse and make sure old Jimbo get's proper Daffy Ducked" Translates to ey uuup Guy, as tha seen flat beer t drinking down there? go blow buggers uuuup. |
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| ColinB |
That was very entertaining old sparkler76. I laughed out loud during eastenders and got a funny look from the missus!
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| away36 |
Relax Caroline. I hear it's a dud anyway.
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| East Bay Rider |
I'm confused. Was Guy a hero for rebelling or a traitor for rebelling. We celebrate rebelion here so I've never known for sure how to read this. | ||||||||
| Carolina |
Dud? As in Milk Duds??
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| away36 |
Mmmmmmmmmm......never had those but boy, they look awesome!!
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| Tools |
I suspect he's more like this.........
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| jdc |
Guy Fawkes was the one caught in parliament trying to blow it up with gunpowder, he was among a small group activists who represented persecuted Catholics in an England that was predominately protestant. Started by Henry VIII's break with the Roman church. 5th November is celebrated in England with burning effigies of Guy Fawkes and fireworks as a celebration of the foiled gunpowder plot. In some places they still burn effigies of the Pope or a hated public figure. One of the most famous is in Lewes 6 miles from where I live. http://www.cliffebonfire.com/history.html http://www.bonfirenight.info/lewesbonfiresociety.php |
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| away36 |
You'd better be driving VERY fast when you get into that car tomorrow, Larry!
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| East Bay Rider |
Ok so he was persecuted, fought back and failed. Now they burn effigies of him to celebrate his failure. Got it.
In the movie "V..." he was a hero, that's why I was confused. |