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       Uncle AJ's Rolex, Wrist Watch & Nature Forum Forum Index -> General discussions
Flatlander

Laws of life...

Irrefutable and incontrovertible laws of life:

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get
a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
mailman

All true :grin:
ABS

Spot on!
uncle aj

Yes all true. :lol:

Have you ever noticed, when you get used to a product and like it a lot, they come out with a "New Improved Recipe" and it isn't.
Tardis

Hey John, you forgot MURPHY'S LAW!
CJ

HOW TRUE!
JJ Irani

Law of Cleavage: Just when you're starting to drool and enjoy the view, she decides to stand up straight!!
uncle aj

JJ Irani wrote:
Law of Cleavage: Just when you're starting to drool and enjoy the view, she decides to stand up straight!!

I suppose it would depend on how tall she was or how tall you are. :lol: :lol:

Usually I get caught just as I'm enjoying myself, by the lady in question or my wife.
CJ

I would never be caught doing such a thing!
































I would stare at her arse instead
uncle aj

CJ wrote:

I would stare at her arse instead


You realise you have left yourself wide open for a Paulie crack.
JJ Irani

uncle aj wrote:
CJ wrote:

I would stare at her arse instead


You realise you have left yourself wide open for a Paulie crack.


The last thing we need on this forum is Paulie's bloody crack!!
uncle aj

JJ Irani wrote:
uncle aj wrote:
CJ wrote:

I would stare at her arse instead


You realise you have left yourself wide open for a Paulie crack.


The last thing we need on this forum is Paulie's bloody crack!!

Guess I left myself wide open as well.
Tardis

uncle aj wrote:
JJ Irani wrote:
uncle aj wrote:
CJ wrote:

I would stare at her arse instead


You realise you have left yourself wide open for a Paulie crack.


The last thing we need on this forum is Paulie's bloody crack!!

Guess I left myself wide open as well.


I'm a leg man myself.
CJ

uncle aj wrote:
CJ wrote:

I would stare at her arse instead


You realise you have left yourself wide open for a Paulie crack.


You want to do what to Pauls crack?
Tools

I'm sorry...I've lost track of this thread..

Are you guys talking about that unsightly Plumbers Crack you see when they bend over while working??

Like this:
CJ

If she worked in my neighborhood, I'd be breaking every piece of plumbing I could find
JJ Irani

CJ wrote:
If she worked in my neighborhood, I'd be breaking every piece of plumbing I could find


I bet you would, flatfoot!!!
uncle aj

Tools wrote:
I'm sorry...I've lost track of this thread..

Are you guys talking about that unsightly Plumbers Crack you see when they bend over while working??

Like this:

At least she's got somewhere to put her pencil.
JJ Irani

uncle aj wrote:
Tools wrote:
I'm sorry...I've lost track of this thread..

Are you guys talking about that unsightly Plumbers Crack you see when they bend over while working??

Like this:

At least she's got somewhere to put her pencil.


Bring back that good ole' Uncle-AJ humour!!
uncle aj

JJ Irani wrote:

Bring back that good ole' Uncle-AJ humour!!


It never left, I was the one that left. :lol:
mailman

Why does JJ always want to see one of my body parts unclothed?
uncle aj

mailman wrote:
Why does JJ always want to see one of my body parts unclothed?

It must be those sheepish looks you keep giving him.

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